Remind me why I do this

My apologies right now if this post is a bummer – but just like with a journal, which is pretty much how I look at this blog – it ain’t all hearts and flowers.

 

I’m at that point in my artistic/designing career where I’m wondering…what’s it all for?  I found out today that the big 2 day April event I’ve been working toward, creating for, making things with the clientele in mind – has been cancelled.  Not going to happen.  Nada.  Zilch.  Crap.

So I ask myself  -  now what?  I made a couple of inquiries to galleries today, and a follow up for an opportunity that I sent proposals for weeks ago.  Still no word from them – and I cringe at the thought.  More no’s?  I don’t handle rejection very well, so trust me when I tell you that the inquiries, and proposals and submissions that I’ve made this year have been HUGE steps for me.  But just as I feared, and as I’ve experienced in the past – no. no. nope. no. and NOT.  It’s hard to be upbeat and happy with those types of answers.  I know I just posted about beading for ME – and I’m trying very, very, VERY hard to stay true to that thought.  But at the same time, it really would be nice to have a bit of success and even recognition for my work.  If it’s one thing I AM confident about it’s that I DO GOOD BEADWORK.  I’ve been very grateful to my Thursday girls lately, who’ve taken pity on me and purchased many pieces (at great discount and no profit – but when ya need the cash….).  I am just running out of ideas.  And I am truthfully and unfortunately at a disadvantage for any summer time outdoor shows coming up – I don’t have a tent, and my car is not reliable for long distances.  I am not trying to make excuses – I am just stating facts.  It’s why I continue to participate in the local art market in the neighboring township – it’s close enough that my car won’t protest, and it’s covered without need of a tent.  It’s not a huge profit – but it’s something.  I wish they’d advertise more.  I keep hoping for more opportunities from it.  I wish.  I hope.  I dream.  AND I DO.  It’s just gotta pay off one of these days.  Doesn’t it?
Hopeful and peaceful beading,
TTFN