Changes

Things are changing for me again.  It's too soon to tell whether they will be cleansing, clearing, happy path changes - or changes that send me into deep despair.  '
On a happy change note - I've placed my jewelry for sale in a newly opened boutique here in town, and am also selling some of my no longer worn clothing there - it's a 'resale' boutique - but only for mens and womens clothing and accessories, and high end ones at that.  We'll be doing the consignment route - and I'll give it a 6 month whirl.    If you're ever in Holt, check out Off~Rack Consignments 2068 Cedar Street, next door to Domino's Pizza (and just north of Biggby Coffee).  Tell 'er Sheryl sent ya!
As far as selling jewelry elsewhere - I think I'll be taking a break.  I'm committed to about 1/2 dozen art shows and fairs over the summer, and that's it.  I've decided not to pursue other venues, or look for other opportunities right now.   It's been on my mind for several weeks now.  I've had three different people ask me, when the subject comes up that my sales are lackluster, WHY do I continue to do it?  And I finally had to ask myself the same question.  I used to be able to answer it with 'because I love it', but this time, I had to face the fact that I am never going to be the in demand, popular jewelry maker.  I just don't seem to have what it takes to bring buyers to the table.  And that makes me not love it anymore.
What will I do?  I have no idea.  I keep hoping and ASKING that a fun, part time clerk opportunity will enter my path.  So far, no luck.  Will I keep designing?  Probably. Maybe.  But just for myself, and my mom, and for gift giving needs.  I find myself once again at the lost mojo stage - which has happened so many times lately that I wonder if it might be gone for good.  I've never had such a stretch of time when I was unable to be creative and design something on my own.  Instead I find myself referring to the mags, and letting someone else's idea and vision help me create.  And I suppose there's nothing wrong with that, it's nice to have someone else's brain to do the creating once in awhile, but at this point in my 'career', I should be designing and creating from my OWN brain, consistently and without fail.  Something has clicked off in there somewhere, and I need to find the on switch, or find another path.  Simple as that.
Will I stop blogging?  Hey, lucky you, dear reader- probably not.  I still have a garden, and life happens, so I will continue to babble - but probably fewer and farther between.  Writing is another one of those things that I have always loved.  I had thought I might try my hand at a project book, having already self published two books (a 'How I did it" and a photo journal).  It was really fun - but self publishing gets you NO exposure, and that was a bomb as well.  Then I start seeing that it seems as though everybody and their beading brother are putting books out there right now, so again, I'm lost in the sea of other people's successes, and don't feel it would even be worth it to try. 
I hope my future is not as gloomy as it seems right now, and I'm sorry to put such a wet blanket on my usual bubbly posts.  It feels as though someone has popped those bubbles - and it may take me awhile, if ever, to get back up to the bubbly stage again.
TTFN, I hope I'm back with brighter beady news soon - getting ready to do a show next weekend - so maybe I'll have LOTS to post about after that.